Its Raining Tears

As I woken this morning I had an heavy feeling in side my heart as if my world was falling apart. I try to smile an say its on but the more I lie , the more my heart speaks the truth. I am hurting an its so deep.for more then one reason that leaves me feeling incomplete . I am snappy so please choose the wprds that u speak when speaking to me , I shot aloud to my spouce an not for a second this feeling sidnt let up as i go to sit down the tears from my heart began to pour down. As I second guess myself an the things in side at this point all I want to do is die. The minute the tgought hits my feeling I become deep into my pain an  out crys the tears  coming from my heart how could I just wake feeling so far gone should I lay back down an waken again  only to find more tears on the pillow I look at my phome but no one to call , hell no one to talk to no one at all. now I begin to look with in an all the way deep within..but i cant shake the feeling of my pai n nor can i stop my tears of rain.. just end it I say an it all goes away.. how dare myself to even think that thought not even thinking right I say im lost in my feelings the day to day life the pain an the strife has me going as far as thinking of taken my lfe.. wait what am I aaying  his is no time for playing jokingly im saying. as I crack a smile I seen a glimps of something then the beauty in an the lessons pain brings At that very moment I disided to fifht with myself so I can one day have the heart to help someone else. I dried up my tears an wiped my face an reminded .y self that I am worth more then this if I wasnt I wouldnt be here so I will remain strong umtill my destiny is clear because I know this pain means something year after year.. every say wont be a smiling day but its up to me to make that choice i must remember never to quiet my voice . Enbrace who I am all the pain that comes with, one day will pay off an Im  sure of it..